There’s a new wave of noise in the youth space. The never-ending age-old debate keeps crawling back into our timelines like a stubborn ex: “Should a wife submit to her husband?”. Before you scroll past thinking “again with this?” hold up. This isn’t just about who gets to decide what’s for dinner. It’s about power, partnership, and the kind of relationships we’re building in a time when both parties bring more than vibes to the table.

So, where did it all start this time?

It all kicked off from an episode of Solomon Buchi’s podcast. In a calm, heartfelt moment, his wife Adeola asked him: “Has there ever been a time you didn’t feel heard in our marriage?”

His response? Quietly honest but loud enough to shake the internet. He opened up about feeling disrespected, not in a general sense, but specifically that his wife wasn’t respecting him in the way he needed. He wasn’t angry; he was just real. And that realness touched a nerve.

From there, the submission debate reignited. The usual suspects, religion, culture, modern feminism, and Twitter philosophers, rolled out. But beneath all the noise was something deeper: the unspoken expectations men carry, and how unvoiced needs can slowly build walls in relationships. 

Submission: Still sacred or just suspicious?

The reactions have been loud. Some are pulling out Bible verses like it’s a sword drill. Others are screaming, “patriarchy must fall!” And then there’s the camp that’s just tired of the whole conversation entirely, “Let people do what works for them, abeg.”

But here’s the sticky part: everyone’s using the same word "submission", but it means completely different things.

For some, it’s respect.
For others, it’s control.
And for a growing number, it’s “What exactly are we submitting to, sir?”

The Case for Mutual Respect (and Common Sense)

Most of us were raised on the man is the head” doctrine, but fast forward to today, and more women are educated, employed, and empowered than ever before. So when someone says “submit,” what exactly are they asking for? Obedience? Respect? Silence? And why does “submission” often sound like a demand instead of a discussion?

Let’s not lie, modern relationships aren’t playing by 1950s rules anymore. A lot of women today bring money, vision, and sense to the table. So this whole idea of blind submission? Yeah, that one is catching serious side-eye.

But does that mean men don’t deserve to feel respected, too? No! A lot of guys are struggling to express what respect looks like to them, without sounding like they want to run a dictatorship in the name of “head of the house.” Maybe the real conversation isn’t about submission at all.

Maybe it’s about how we communicate our needs, and whether we’re building love on power dynamics… or partnership.